"Nicholas" you may be thinking, "What if you're depressed for years... akindalike you were. Can you really live and not make decisions?"
No. No you can't. As a matter of fact, depression is filled with choices that have to made. Let me say that again. Depression will present you with some of the hardest choices you will ever face. Do I take meds? Go to counseling? Do I keep on believing there is a God, or abandon my faith? Do I keep on believing there isn't one, that we are just an accident, or do I abandon my faith? Do I keep living?
Decisions are everywhere, and they have to be met... but there should be special considerations for special times such as this.
For one, decisions in depression should not be made alone. Depression is a MENTAL illness. It is an illness that affects your mind. What happens when people's thinking is impaired? When someone is drunk, should they be making decisions alone? What about high? They shouldn't, and neither should someone who is depressed. If you have a depressed loved one, do everything in your power to gently be involved. You can't force someone, but you can be there, be available, pour in wisdom when possible, provide a safe place for them to share and allow you to be involved.
Depressed folks, I pray you'll have just enough of yourself left, enough of your will, your decision making power to recognize how much help you need. Seek help. Ask people you trust. I'm not saying do everything others say, or relinquish yourself. I am simply saying to take in good advice. Have the wherewithal to recognize your state of mind and emotions, and let others help. It could save your life, your marriage, your friendships, your job, your faith.
It is wise to not make life altering decisions while depressed. It just makes sense. I would advise against deciding to marry someone while depressed. You can't feel what you should, then don't put that onus on another person. If married, don't decide to not be. You aren't yourself. That's okay. Just keep breathing. Others may not know just how hard deciding to keep breathing can be, but I do, and many others do too. You are not alone. Sometimes, just breathing and choosing not to leave can make you a heroic spouse. Same goes with having children. You should wait to pursue marriage and kids when you are not sick. You don't sign up for a marathon when your leg is broken.
There is no going back. Sure you can quit on your marriage, but you can't unmarry someone. You become divorced, not unmarried. There's a difference. Your decision will affect yourself and countless more for the rest of your lives. You'll leave a wake of broken hearts, only to have your depression end, as it will, and you'll realize just how stupid what you did really was. You can't unhave a kid. You can't become unpregnant. You can kill your unborn child, but not undo what you did.
If you decide to get married or have kids you are still expected to be a spouse, be a parent. I say it all the time, and I'll say it again. Suffering from Depression does not give you a right to sin. You are given some latitude in understanding from others, but not a free pass. Depression, if anything, is an opportunity to rise, to overcome, to do what is right in the face of what feels to be insurmountable evil and torment. You ARE capable of doing the right thing. It is just way way way harder, but you can do it. I believe in your victory.
I was once depressed and tormented, nagged by the abyss, incessant, involuntary negativity that stole my life, and emotional paralysis. I was amongst the dead, connected emotionally with zombie movies, and yet now live. I hurt like a healthy heart does, love like a healthy heart does, and it is beautiful. Fight on.
HEBREWS 4:15-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
