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| Photo by: Alfred Eisenstaedt |
When World War II ended the country went nuts with
euphoria. Almost everyone
associated with the war was revered.
Heck, to this day we are still saying thank you and still revere those
men who fought in WWII.
Then there is Vietnam.
The soldiers returning from Nam were not only not met with parades and
congratulations, but disdain.
People didn’t understand the war they fought. It wasn’t as clear cut in their minds as WWII, which had a
Lord of the Rings like quality, with dark lord taking over the world and
all. People doubted the battle
taking place in Nam. The mission
was murky. Where as the vision of
those who fought in WWII was of this sparkling American hero, clean-shaven,
articulate, and ready to help an old lady cross the street, those who fought in
Nam were seen as hobos with machine guns.
The effect of this perception cut deep both ways. Where it was a boon for many who served
in WWII, it crippled many who fought in Nam. There are countless movies and books chronicling this.
I hate to say it, but “coming home” from depression is like
coming home from Nam, not WWII. I
used to look at how people treated those who survived other dreaded diseases
and I would envy. Almost any other
disease that is battled and survived is met with sympathy and
congratulations. Not so with
depression. You will get more
sympathy and congratulations defeating a cold than you will depression, even
though depression a trillion times more awful.
You see, just like with Nam, people don’t understand the
battle. Heck, many don’t even
believe it is a real battle. You
just need to get over it. Even
those who do believe it is real on some level, struggle to comprehend it (and
rightly so). Thus, sympathy is
difficult. They cannot
relate. They don’t really see the
danger. On some level, they are
going to wonder why you can’t just stop being that way, even though they never
once would think such a thing about you if you had the flu or cancer. No one looks at someone with the flu,
gets upset, and says, “Stop it!
Just stop it! Get it
together! Pull yourself out of
this!” They will with depression,
underlying their ignorance of what depression is. (Reminder: do not judge people for being ignorant on this. I can say that I would probably be the
exact same way had I not been forced to see it first hand, and I would bet you
would too. So, be
understanding.)
The effect that this can have on you once you are out is
just like that of those returning to battle. It can be incredibly deflating to have just won the greatest
victory of your life, to win the battle of a lifetime, and to have no one
care. They will never know how
much you have done for them, how many times you wanted to end it but didn’t,
not for your sake, but theirs.
They will never grasp your affection for them. They will not see it as a sacrifice. They will see you return to health, and
they won’t feel pride of what you have achieved. They will probably, in fact, tell you to hide your victory,
and never tell anyone for fear of the stigma that will follow. AND, sadly, there is wisdom in
that. What they will feel is just
relief that you are no longer acting as you once were, that you are healthy
again.
What you have to do is let it go that your victory is not
going to be seen for what it really is.
No parties. Just
relief. You cannot let this keep
you down. And here is why. I know of your victory. Your brothers and sisters who have
struggled with depression know it.
Most of all, God knows.
1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
But the Lord said to Samuel,
“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have
rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees:
man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks on the heart.”
Hebrews 4:13 (ESV)
And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked
and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Your victory will be remembered by God, and His memory is
flawless and eternal.
So, prepare yourself for what is to come, and don’t let it
get you down, at least not for long.
Don’t let other people’s perception weigh on you. Remember, they just don’t know, and
that’s okay. Depression is hard to
understand even when you have gone through it. I don’t blame those who haven’t for not getting it. I know my victory. I know what God has accomplished in
me. I know that God knows what
I’ve been through, and smiles on me for the things I did well, for keeping on
fighting. Life is good. The victory is won. Your day is coming too.
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